I never got my ears pierced. The reason is because it always seemed like a crime to me to jab shards of metal through your flesh to attract a mate. “Have we not evolved at all?!” I’d ask myself, “To what ends will we stoop to fulfill our cavemannish obsession with mating?” I also believed that I was naturally pretty and didn’t need such ornamentation (I will accept your reassuring comments below.).
Also, I always felt it would be a pity to punch a hole in my ear because I think they are particularly nice looking. My mom always tells me that when I was born, women in the hospital would comment on how beautiful my ears were. My mom also assured me that this was not because they couldn’t find anything else about my appearance to compliment. I have chosen to believe her, and my ears have always been one of my favorite features.
But then I realized I’ve already given into the man and bowed to social pressures with my appearance. In my natural state – and if no one were looking – I certainly wouldn’t dress the way I do for the public. I have put a lot of thought into it, and if I were entirely cut off from civilization, I would chop my hair short, wear brightly colored spandex shorts, fanny packs, band t-shirts, and tennis shoes – none matching – every day. This is true. BUT, barring an apocalyptic virus to which I alone am immune, it is unlikely I will ever be entirely sure I’ll never be seen by another human again. Also in the case of a similar virus that struck everyone else in the world blind. SO, never fear, you’ll never have to see me in the really comfortable outfit I just described.
Anyway, I think earrings are pretty, and they just draw extra attention to my already very nice ears, so I decided to get my ears pierced. I brought Ranell along because she always sports such nice earrings, and we went to Claire’s at the Mall of America. I nearly hyperventilated, and while I have a habit of documenting all medical procedures, even traumatic (tooth knocked in) and invasive ones (knee surgery), but this one was way too scary so there are no photos. But, anyway, I got my ears pierced, and I discovered that there are some great up-do hairstyles that showcase earrings very well.
After the ear piercing, we lost my car in the Mall of America parking lot. Luckily, the mall employs bike cops to help people out of just such a fix.