Tyler’s Wedding Dinner – May 18

My little brother didn’t want a program, or any talking at all, really, at his wedding dinner. But that got hijacked by the adults who financed the shenanigan. There would be speeches.

My brother’s proposal was really boring (they were watching TV. Click here for the full story.), and none of us knew how they met (I think just mutual friends). So, prior to toasts, my brothers and I were joking about how funny it would be if one of us just made up some story in our toast. I was still laughing about it with my littlest brother when my step mom got up and gave her toast, then asked if anyone else had anything to say.

She saw me grinning and said, “Julia, it looks like you have something to say.”

Mentally, I said, No, Julia, you are not doing this. But out loud, because I always, always will take the spotlight, I said, “Yes I do!” and stood up.

As I stood up, mentally I told myself, Oh no. Julia, there’s only one thing in your head right now, and really should not say it. Out loud, though, I said, “So, since Tyler and Katie aren’t going to tell you the adorable way he proposed, I have to tell it because Tyler is such a romantic.” Mentally, I said, Great, you’ve already started lying. Stop before you get in trouble.

Out loud I told this story:

Tyler wrapped himself in a box and mailed himself to Katie. The UPS guy delivered him across the hall where a new girl had just moved in. The UPS man helped her pull the box into her apartment. Then Tyler leaped out. The girl started screaming, of course, because some strange man was leaping out of a box in her apartment. Katie heard the screaming and came running across the hall to the rescue. But when she saw Tyler with roses for this other girl, Katie started screaming, too.

So, then, in the midst of two women angrily screaming at him, Tyler did the only thing he could think of to calm the women down. He proposed. Both women said yes immediately. But Tyler picked Katie.

I ended by saying I knew that, with such a great start, they would continue to have fun throughout their marriage.

Then I sat down, and my brother Levi got up and gave a really heartfelt speech, and I started texting apologies to Tyler because it had all come out of my mouth sort of by accident.

People, however, LOVED the story. My dad and stepmom, Mary, were not upset at all. Katie said it was better than the real thing, and Tyler said they might tell their children that story instead of the real one. At the wedding reception the next night, people continued to believe the story, I recounted it several times, and no one recognized it from the Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn classic, Housesitter.

Also, they had Lego sets on all the tables at the reception the next night. My brothers and I had a race putting them together. That was fun. And when they left, Tyler and Katie rode around the block in a really cool old car, and then it brought them back and they got in their Civic (or whatever) and drove away.

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